Grief after bereavement or loss

Grief can cause many different symptoms like shock, numbness, sadness, exhaustion and anger. There's no right or wrong way to feel.

If you are grieving, talking to others can bring some comfort. There are also bereavement support organisations, such as Cruse, who can help.

You may feel sad after a bereavement. But if you have depression or anxiety that do not go away you may need treatment.

Feelings of grief and bereavement can be triggered by many things including the end of a relationship and the death of a loved one.

Bereavement, grief and loss can cause many different symptoms and they affect people in different ways. There's no right or wrong way to feel.

As well as bereavement, there are other types of loss such as the end of a relationship or losing a job or home.

Signs and symptoms of grief can include:

• shock and numbness – this is usually the first reaction to loss, and people often talk about "being in a daze"
• overwhelming sadness, with lots of crying
• tiredness or exhaustion
• anger – towards the person you've lost or the reason for your loss
• guilt – for example, guilt about feeling angry, about something you said or did not say, or not being able to stop your loved one dying

These feelings may not be there all the time and powerful feelings may appear unexpectedly.

It's not always easy to recognise when bereavement, grief or loss are the reason you're acting or feeling differently.

• try talking about your feelings to a friend, family member, healthcare professional or counsellor

• consider peer support, where people use their experiences to help each other

• regular exercise can improve your mood and may help you sleep better

• eat a healthy diet with regular meals to keep your energy levels stable

• do not try to do everything at once – set small targets that you can easily achieve

• do not focus on the things you cannot change – focus your time and energy into helping yourself feel better

• try not to tell yourself that you're alone – most people feel grief after a loss and support is available

• try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve grief – these can all contribute to poor mental health

You may feel sad after a bereavement and these feelings should ease gradually with time.

But if you are feeling increasingly depressed or anxious you may need medical help.

• you're struggling to cope with stress, anxiety or a low mood
• you've had a low mood for more than 2 weeks
• things you're trying yourself are not helping
• you would prefer to get a referral from a GP

Grief and bereavement are natural responses to loss and can be triggered by many things and not just the death of a loved one.

You can have feelings of grief after:

• the end of a relationship
• losing a job
• moving to a new place to live
• someone close to you becomes seriously ill

For most people grief after the death of a loved one becomes less intense over time. But for some people, grief after a death lasts many months or years. This is known as prolonged grief disorder or complicated grief.

Symptoms of prolonged grief disorder include:

• very difficult feelings such as sadness or guilt that do not get any easier as the months go by
• spending a lot of time thinking about the person who's died
• difficulty accepting the death
• not being able to return to everyday activities
• suicidal thoughts

You're more likely to have prolonged grief disorder if the death was traumatic or sudden and unexpected.

• you have symptoms of prolonged grief disorder